So, I've been putting creams on my shoulder and my chest, not the back of my neck since my hair would just soak it all up and my arms don't hurt anymore despite being so red (just don't slap me!). The creams don't really help, they just take the heat out for a little bit but it comes back fairly quickly now. Okay, so anyway, Zoe decided to be affectionate and any female cat slave will tell you that a female cat is fickle. Either they are in their aloof mood where if you bother them you should be put in jail for assault or they are just so affectionate, especially at night, where you want to sleep and they are kneading you with their claws and licking you (especially the neck!) and you can't sleep! Um, I got sidetracked. So I was reading my cool book The Woman With The Worm In Her Head when Zoe jumped on my stomach and started to knead my chest! ACK!!! I'm wearing a very low cut tank so my chest isn't being touched by cloth and she is kneading me!!! Oh, kneading is where a cat will kinda...move their front feet up and down on you, it's a drawback from their kitten days when they were suckling. Zoe has claws. Zoe has kitten claws. Zoe has needle sharp kitten claws. Zoe ran away with a puffed up tail when her human shrieked in pain. So now here I am with globs of cream on my chest and the desk fan blowing directly on it because of her. Not only do I have a bad burn but I have those very thin scratches that needle claws cats and rats give you on this very sensitive area.
Oh and now when I ask mom if there's anything else I could do besides creams and showers (and painkillers) she goes 'take your Topomax and Ambien'. I reply with 'how would that help with my burn?' to which she replies with 'it won't really but you need to take your medication and the Ambien will help you fall asleep and well, you won't feel the burn in your sleep.' Okay so this will bring me to Sara's Rant of the Night Version 2.0, heh it seems my vacation post and photos will be next so this post won't be so long ;p
The Ambien is to be taken as needed but mom can't seem to grasp that. The Topomax seems to be helping my sleep and since the Ambien didn't do squat, I didn't bother with that. I did call the psychiatrist and she said that when I feel I need one, I can take two which I will try next time I feel I need one which I haven't really since the Topomax has taken effect. Oh sure I'm still up really late but not to the point of not starting to get tired at 8 in the bloody morning and having to either fight (and I do mean fight) to stay away or just sleep and wake up around 3 in the afternoon, furthering the wonkiness of my sleep patterns. No, now it's back to normal, where I don't get tired until around 4:30 or 5 in the morning and when I do, I sleep and wake up in the late morning. If I can find a freaking job, I'd force myself to sleep, or just take an Ambien despite not feeling I need it just so I can wake up earlier and sleep later but I feel that these hours are more normal for me.
So anyway, back on topic. Mom's answer to everything is to 'take my meeds. I'm feeling bitchy, I must have skipped my medication! I have a headache, did I take my meds? My burn really bothering me? Taking your sleeping pills so you fall asleep. Gee mom, I did take Ambien to sleep and despite the pills working and me trying to sleep I couldn't, the pain was just too much! Mom is one of those people that thinks medication is the answer to all my problems and that all my everyday problems are a result of my disorders. I don't 'have friends' because I'm bipolar or because I'm fat and I'm fat because I haven't been taking medication for awhile. I'm fat because I haven't been taking medication? Yeah, the medication stabilizes my moods and my moods do make me want to eat more or less but I can fight it, it's the matter of whether I have the will power to fight my eating urges (which I don't lately). I don't have friends? Wtf? I have a beautiful friend that is a car ride from me! Sure she lives in an oven (the valley) but she's wonderful (and I hear that it isn't an oven right now!). I also have friends across the country and a few across the pond! I might have met only a few of you and I might only really open up with some of you (I mean really open up) but I consider a lot of people on my LJ f-list actual friends. There's a bunch of people that I friended for fandom reasons (art, icons, etc) but I got to know a couple of you better! So...what was my point? Ah yeah, I have friends and I've mentioned this before! Bah.
Also, if I'm in a bad mood it's 'have you taken your meds?' or 'go take your meds'. It seems that people that suffer from mood swings can't just get in an ordinary bad mood! God forbid I actually get in a bad mood for *gasp* a normal reason! Like, for example, right now! This would warrant a bad mood would you think? But, if I'm in a good mood and mom and I are talking and I go 'mom, my burn hurts and the creams don't work, what else do I try' and she replies with the med reply and I do the reply I mentioned earlier she goes 'wait, just take the medication and go to sleep!'. So I go 'and this will help?' She goes 'shut up, you will be asleep!' By this time I'm sorta peeved but not angry, and I'm only really peeved cause I have pinprick feelings on my chest. 'Why is it everything can be solved with my medication?' Her reply? 'Did you take your medication yet? Your bitchy' I threw up my hands and went into my room for Rant Version 2.0 (the first rant was done). Soooo, would that be a mood swing or a normal bad mood? I honestly want to know! I think it would be me being fed up and getting annoyed with my mom. I do get mood swings, bad ones and I recognize them and that was not one! Whatever.
Thus ends that rant.
Now for a question, are my post styles easy to read? The two rants were broken up but should I put two lines between points instead of just one lines like I have been doing? Okay, photos and vacation later.