We know you don't liked to be poked by wet dog
noses but please try to refrain from clawing said nose. We know you
don't really hurt Heidi but her whines of torture make me cringe. Also,
please don't decide to get affectionate and licky right after cleaning
your butt after you emerge from the catbox. It isn't nice.
Your baffled mum,
do you insist on getting cuddly when I'm trying to sleep? If you must
cuddle, just lie down next to me, do not knead with your pin-sharp
claws into the side of my stomach. I am ticklish there and the claws
don't help put me to sleep. Also, please don't stop kneading just to
start licking. Like I said, I'm extremely ticklish so it doesn't help!
Your giggling mum,
You are warm and soft. You are very mellow and licky and I love you to bits but I ask that you please don't squeal in the middle of the night like you're being murdered. Mummy's trying to sleep.
We know you are the alpha rat. Please do not drag Tonks around by her ears and her back skin. Are you trying to act like Hamlet? Are you trying to be cool? Tonks doesn't like it and I don't like being jerked away from a half-sleep by her squeals. Please desist.
Your frusterated mum,
I know you like to poke Spencer with your nose. We know you love the cats but the cats don't appreciate having your wet nose poke their ears.
Also, please don't drool on my feet when I'm lying on the couch with you.
Your drool blanket,
Dear fruit flies,
Kindly fuck off and die.
Dear Grammar Nazis,
Yes my grammar and spelling suck on my journal entries. I don't give a crap, this is my internet journal. When I write in longhand I try better. W0d U rath3r m3 tlk 1yk th1s?