Agent 27 (witherwings7) wrote,
Agent 27

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The Rattie Person is a special breed. They can withstand the (often) overwhelming smell of boy-rat pee with little to no nose-wrinkling. When guests complain and shy away from the sight of turds, the Rattie Person is quite alright with having one disposed of upon them. The Rattie Person is completely immune to (and indifferent toward) Yersinia Pestis and all cases of Horrid Sewer Syndrome, and feels only sympathy for those who aren't (and especially those who believe in it).

The Rattie Person loves tiny hands and feet. They love big, fat, orange carrot-tails that feel scaley to the touch. They love little whiskers brushing against their face as tiny hands pull gently at their lips and nibble on their chins. They love the sound of big yellow chompers grinding away in pure bliss; a cacophony of sound; a Rattie Orchestra. They love squeaks and hoots and Rattie Disputes, and understand that sometimes the last Yoggie is as precious as gold.

The Rattie Person understands hording. They understand that sometimes, expensive electronic wires just need to be chewed. The Rattie Person is often inclined to spend ludicrous amounts of money on soft fabrics but also understands, on the same hand, that they will be thoroughly destroyed. The Rattie Person does not underestimate the power of an empty toilet paper tube, or the importance of peas in a shallow pan of water on a hot day. Mostly, the Rattie Person has a healthy enough sense of self-preservation to know that it is Certain Death to remove the hammock from the cage.

But mostly, the Rattie Person is completely in love with their furry friends. They understand the need for these charming creatures to be loved and accepted in the face of ignorance and countless murder-contraptions that line the shelves of every hardware store. The Rattie Person will turn the other cheek when they take a $5 pet to the vets office and leave $200 poorer, with cries of; "Are you crazy!?" at their back. Your life with a Rattie Person will be filled with affection, acceptance, and all the toys and yoggies you could imagine. And in the end, they will hold your small, trembling body in their hands and stay with you until all the warmth has gone out of it.


Tags: random
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