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I'm fucked :P - Robot Skeleton Army Minion #1983
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Sat, Jul. 9th, 2005 02:32 pm
I'm fucked :P


According to St. Mary's Church of Colorado Springs, listed below are some warning signs to indicate if you may have gone astray from the Lord and turned GOTH! Bold those listed that apply to you:

1. Frequently wears black clothing.
2. Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
3. Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
4. Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
5. Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
6. Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
7. Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
8. Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
9. Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. I have some historical vampire books
10. Takes drugs.
11. Drinks alcohol.
12. Is suicidal and/or depressed.
13. Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
14. Complains of boredom.
15. Sleeps too excessively or too little.
16. Is excessively awake during the night.

17. Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)I hate bright sunlight
18.Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
19-Spends large amounts of time alone.
20-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
21-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

22-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
23-Misbehaves at school.
24-Misbehaves at home.
25-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
26-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
27-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
28-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
29-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

30-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
31-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
32-Expresses an interest in sex.
33-Masturbates

34-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
35-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

36-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
37-Claims to be a goth.

If you have bolded more than five, according to the St. Mary's church, you are TOTALLY FUCKED! Congratulations.

3CommentReply

machina
.
Sat, Jul. 9th, 2005 11:56 pm (UTC)

i know that this is a joke and everything..but god damn that's pretty gay.

i must be gothic though cos i like to eat goth related foods.


ReplyThread
vendettazen
vendettazen
---Melissa---
Sun, Jul. 10th, 2005 12:36 am (UTC)

Wait... I like Boo Berry. What does that make me?


ReplyThread Parent
machina
.
Sun, Jul. 10th, 2005 05:42 am (UTC)

pretty god damn gothic!


ReplyThread Parent