March 1st, 2008

Weird Al -- with me

A million thoughts swimming through my mind like fish in a vast ocean

I don't think I could live a happy life without music, I'm addicted to music. What a wasted life I would have without the soul lifting beauty that is music.

I miss Hamlet. I haven't realized just how much I missed my Hamlet until talking about her with bellelvsbest. My older friends here would remember her, she was the most special rat a person could ask for. I've had many special rats; Fuzz, Isis, Starbucks, Templeton, Roswell, Algee, etc etc. However, it was Hamlet who was special beyond all others. My first rat. She was my heart. I'm sorry for anybody who doesn't know the extremely special bond between a human and their pet. For people to have a pet and not connect with them, it's sad for me. I understand the love between human and pet, you would love your pet obviously. There are some animals that touch your heart and leave little footprints on them. Animals that will never be forgotten, there will always be a little hole in your heart when this super special animal passes away. Hamlet was that super special pet. She touched me in a way an animal hasn't since (though many of come close). She was plagued her whole life with tumors and mycoplasma. I'm sure I spent over $1,000 on vet bills alone on this rat. I bred rats a few years ago (might start that again sometime, not anytime soon though!). I've spent so much money on vet bills for my rats because that's what a good rat breeder (rat owner!) does. Hamlet was $6 and I remember people badgering me about spending that much on vet bills. They would say "I guess I can understand you spending money on the vet with your breeder rats, those cost $30! But a $6 pet store rat?! You're crazy!". No, not crazy, just a good rat mommy. It doesn't matter the cost of the pet, you have a moral responsibility to look after this little being as much as you are able. My aunt has gone hungry to make sure her pets are well fed. She's kinda poor but her dog and cat, who are her children, eat decent grade pet food. A lot of people just don't understand that.
Hamlet was worth every penny that went into getting her well. She broke my heart when she died, I don't think I'll ever have a rat like her ever again. I wouldn't want to! All my other rats (see above for some of the extra special ones) also have a place in my heart but I loved them all differently. Hamlet would run to me when I got home (she got free range of the house a lot) and crawl up my leg. She would climb into bed with me, curl under my chin, and sleep while bruxing (rat version of purring). She mourned when my father died! She loved my father. It was beautiful seeing them together. My father didn't want me to have a rat but she grew on him. He would go into his office and rave about this little rat who he loved. I was at a retirement party for one of my father's co-workers and the previous mayor was there to talk about her. He saw my mom and when he found out who I was he asked me "do you still have that little rat your father talked about?". I was shocked! My father talked about Hamlet to ex-mayor James Hann! So yes, he loved her. And she loved him! When she figured out that he wasn't coming back she went to his pillow and wouldn't leave it for a day! It was bittersweet to watch this animal, an animal that so many people consider to be pests and worthless, mourning over the death of somebody. She died in my arms a few days after a tumor removal surgery. She licked me and went into cardiac arrest right in my arms. I knew her time was coming for about 48 hours so I slept with her. I got one of mom's old purses and put a towel and a hot water bottle in it to keep her snuggly. She didn't want to be away with me and frankly, I felt the same way. I had her cremated and she's in a nice little wooden urn with some of my hair (she liked to chew my hair) with some dried flower petals. I'm sure there will be many more animals that touch my heart like she did but I don't know if I'll ever have another rat that will effect me like she did. I'll develop beautiful bonds with some but my bond with Hamlet was one I don't think could happen again. I miss my girl and I'll see her again when I die.

Lots of photos behind the cut! If you don't like rats..well...don't click ;)
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