June 5th, 2006

Weird Al -- with me

I totally ganked this icon from somebody..pity I don't know who made it

So June 6, 2006 is a day away. Dooms Day and all that rot. Also the release date of The Omen, funny that 6-6-06 should fall on one of our release days (Tuesday). Like I do on Halloween, New Years, and on the 4th of July, the cats will be in as will Heidi. I live in a nice quiet neighborhood but we do get assholes sometimes, especially on the 4th and New Years; firework crazy teenagers. My cats will not be terrorized by these idiot people.
I do want to see The Omen but not terribly. The only movie I am really looking forward to that will be released this summer is Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. There's a few other movies I want to see but that's the only movie I will see for sure in theaters...of course I'll be seeing December Boys but that won't be released until December!!!
Have I mentioned that this icon makes me giggle? It does! Anything else worth mentioning? I guess, since my posts have been lame lately, I can do that question survey.
Ask me five questions of any type and I shall answer truthfully :]

Also, five things you might not have know about me:
1. When I was younger I wanted to work in a Level 5 Zone at the CDC. I still have a fascination in viruses but I know I can never do that type of work. If for no other reason then the fact that my hands aren't stable enough, you need very steady hands, more so then a surgeon's actually. My 'favorite' virus was Ebola and I still read up on that virus. Viruses are fascinating!

2. When I was younger my brother gave me the choice of seeing Arachnophobia or The Rescuers Down Under in theaters. I chose Arachnophobia. I stayed on mom's bed all night thinking giant hairy spiders were going to get me. I'm still not terribly fond of spiders, but I don't dislike them. That's probably the first 'horror' movie I ever saw...might have seen stuff before then but I don't have a good memory.

3. I was interested in the United Kingdom before I even heard about Harry Potter. I grew up fascinated with the knights of old and dragons and all the history of those countries. I also have a fascination with weapons, but I love swords the best.

4. I don't have any piercings or tattoos. I had my ears pierced twice but they closed up both times, the first time was probably my fault but the second time I remember being paranoid and keeping them clean and clear of gook. I won't be getting my ears pierced again and probably won't pierce myself at all. I do want a few smallish tattoos though. I want a Celtic trinity knot and a dragon. I want the dragon to be green and silver or blue and silver...but I don't even know if silver is a color that tattoos can come in. I also know I won't get a tattoo until I get to my ideal size if I get one at all.

5. The first 'rock' concert I've ever been to was Metallica. Korn opened for them, I saw them in, I think, 1996 with my best friend of the time. I've been to performances before that, just nothing you would call a 'rock concert'.

One more thing before I head off to bed. Do any of you get tired from drinking milk? Chocolate milk? I get really groggy from drinking milk but even more so when it's of the chocolate variety. I guess that's why mummy's give their kids warm milk.
Weird Al -- with me

I really loathe our president

Fuck this. I am so tired of him, he should not be able to mess with our lives like this!!!
Marriage between one man and one woman does a better job protecting children better than any other institution humankind has devised.
Bullshit and whoever said that everybody that marries wants kids? Have you seen a mother defending her child!? Mama lion right there!!! Men can be just has loving as a women to their child and women can be just as protective. Stupid stereotypes, stupid Republicans (not all of you;), stupid Bush.
Weird Al -- with me

Momzilla Strikes Again

So I mentioned that mom shouldn't be going to work (or driving). Well I was supposed to take her to work today. Again, she's not supposed to work but I'm forced, so there it is. The boss smokes in his office, yes indeed he does. That's illegal but he says this type of work is excempt..um no but nobody really fights him on it even though they argue with him about other things (friendly arguing). So I can't be in that office too long..maybe 3 hours tops. Mom wants me to get a job there since 'I'm too lazy to find my own job'. No, I don't want to. Not because of the work, I help out when I'm there, but because of the smoke. I can't take that stuff! A lot of odors give me terrible migraines..not natural like a peach but 'artificial' like perfume, cologne, and smoke. I know that stuff gives a lot of people migraines, just saying it gives me them too. So I'm supposed to drive her then drive to Westwood to pick up Adam for an eye doctor appointment. We are supposed to leave at 3:30 to get there. Fine, that would have given mom three hours at the office and that's basically all I can take. If I get a migraine I can't drive safely and she knows this. She also knows the smoke gets to me, even if he didn't smoke that day the lingering odor will do it. So we leave at 12:50. I'm about 4 blocks from the house and she starts yelling at me, saying she wanted to leave earlier. Well, we agreed before my shower that we would leave around this time. But no, she starts yelling at me. Then she tells me to pull over and I do. She's saying how she'll go alone because I'm a selfish bitch. So I get my stuff and get out of the car. She's yelling at me while I walk back towards the house that I'm a 'selfish bitch', a 'lazy bitch', etc. I told her before that I do not appreciate her calling me that, she still does it. So I'm home, changed out of the skirt (I hate skirts!). Mom is going to start bitching at her coworkers (who I like) and Adam about me. Then Adam is going to get on my case, trying to be all nice, and telling me I need to ignore mom and that she can get hurt if she drives. Gee, she can also get hurt if works too!!! It's her, she's pushing me to take her to work when her doctor said not to. I don't feel comfortable with it but she doesn't care.
Oh, Adam just called. I didn't pick it up, do not want to hear from him. Tonight when she gets home she's going to be cold, I know it. Probably will go 'did you have a nice day you lazy bitch? Waste anymore time?'. She's said that before.
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    Get Off Of My Back---Bryan Adams (Sprit)...what are the odds...great song for this post
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Weird Al -- with me

I have a fucking bedtime

So now, according to my family, I have to be in bed with lights off at midnight otherwise my mom will be taking my computer away. It doesn't matter that I pay for the internet, she paid for the computer so she'll be taking it away from me. I can't fall asleep at midnight!!! I can't. He (brother) said everybody with jobs fall asleep by midnight. How many of you people with jobs fall asleep by midnight!? I can guarantee that I will be up at 4am if I fall asleep by then. That's when I talk to my best friend! Our best conversations are around then! I can't do that! Lastly, if I want to banter back and forth with my friend in England, I can really only do it at that time because of the time difference. I like our banters! They cheer me up :(
I also have to work at mom's job five days a week until I can find a job. If I don't she's kicking me out. Nevermind the fact that her boss smokes and makes me phsyically ill to be around him, it doesn't matter that it's illegal and unfair. "A lot of things are unfair but we do them anyway". I should not have to put up with secondhand smoke in the fucking job space! According to my brother I will have to 'suck it up and deal with my migraines'. You can't deal with migraines! Yeah I can work with a headache but not a migraine. That makes me 'lazy'. She apologized for calling me a bitch which doesn't matter to me. I took her apology like I take Adam's when he calls me a fat pig, with a grain of salt. The next time we disagree I'll be a 'fat bitch' or a 'lazy bitch'.
Also, I have to go to Lange Foundation and Curves at least three times a week for both. That's fine for Curves because that's the scheduel, three times a week. But Adam said "Mom's work, Curves, and Lange is your job. If you don't do these things mom will kick you out. You need to go to mom's office everyday but your therapy day, you need to go to Curves three times a week and Lange four times a week". Way to take the joy of volunteering out of me Adam. I also have to take my drivers test by next Friday or I'll be out on the street. I can fail but I must take it.
I'm 22, nearly 23! They want me to be independent and find my own life but they are giving me a 'lights out time'. That's the thing that gets me most of all, I have to be in bed by midnight. Have to. It just gets worse and worse. Anyone want a roommate? J\k, can't put my burden on any of you. I don't have the money to live in that fucking city. I'd give my rats away if I could move out, I love them but I can part with them to a good home but it's my cats. I need to move with Spencer and Zoe. I can't afford $700 a month, I can't.
Oh, my neighbor informs them that I am awake at 5am every morning which is not true. I'm in bed by 4 and if I'm not, my light is off so he shouldn't be able to see me unless he looks closely. So they have the neighbor spying on me or something?
I knew it would be played...the 'guilt card'. I knew it. I will make mom sick since I'm not driving her. Let's just forget the fact that mom shouldn't be going to work at all until mid-June and that she goes anyway..and there's second hand smoke in that space. Let's forget all about that and focus on the fact that I will make her sick. I, who doesn't call mom names and has started to not really yell back. I just go to my room or give her glares, but I don't call her a bitch and I never have. I think the most cursing I say to mom is 'dammit', 'bloody hell', and 'screw this'. It'll be my fault because I'm letting her belittle me and drive her to a place she shouldn't be going. It's okay, I know it's my fault (yes, I'm in self-pity mode).
I just can't take this. It's a no win situation, I live here and get treated like I'm five fucking years old. I can't move and I can't stay here. It's a wonder I have started doing more self destructive behavior but overeating. Overeating must be my personal form of self destruction, I don't cut or do drugs but I overeat. I'm a walking mental case.

So let me break it down in case you didn't understand from my ramblings.
1. have to work in a space where I will be around something that makes me phsyically ill
2. have to be in bed with lights out by midnight dispite the fact that I can't fall asleep that early
3. have to work in that office while looking for a job otherwise I will be on the street.
4. I have to drive mom to a place she was told not to go to by her doctor
5. I have to go to Curves three times a week (was planning on that anyway), Lange 4-5 times a week for two hours each, and mom's job five times a week otherwise I'm out on the street.
6. Didn't mention this but I also have to apply for disability because my mental capacity qualifies as a handicap. I'm handicapped in the mind I suppose.
7. Also didn't mention, but I can't eat or drink in my room anymore even though I throw stuff out and wash dishes. My room 'smells'.
8. I have to clean the cages 4 times a week otherwise the rats 'go'. Nevermind the fact that I have 2 rats in a cage so cleaning is only needed once or twice a week. Four times a week is a waste of material but I have to do it otherwise mom will 'drop my rats off at a pet store'. Oh, to that girl who wanted to give me her rat. It would be best if you don't, I don't want to bring a rat into this situation. I can pass along the word about your rat but I don't want to bring a rat into an unstable place.
9. My livejournal friends aren't really friends, just people I know on the internet. I agree that some of you aren't friends, I friended some of you to read your ff stories or because you make cool icons and we might be friendly to each other, but I don't consider us 'friends' and I'm sure you don't either. But some of you are friends. imonsie is my bestfriend and I consider decapod_10, yodallama, weaselses, angelwings2dust, box_of_sorrows, and a few more of you to be actual friends. But nope, I just 'know you' on the internet. True we met on the internet but whatever.
I guess that's it.
And yes I'm still crying.

PS-Please excuse any crappy spelling, I don't feel like spellchecking.
Weird Al -- with me

(no subject)

This fanvid cheered me up a little bit.
It's a slash video inspired by Big Gay Al from South Park. The song is from the South Park movie and I love that song, it's just so wrong but I can't hate it. All HP slash fans should check it out, if it made me chuckle in my current state I can promise you will laugh as well.

edit Figured I'd edit this post so I don't flood your friends list. imonsie or anybody living in this area (LA County, north OC, or south VC), do you know what prices are like for a one bedroom apartment in the SF Valley? Any valley actually, SF, SG, etc. It's cheaper then the city but not by much and I may as well look now. Won't escape anytime soon but it doesn't help to know my options.
  • Current Music
    I'm Super (Thanks For Asking)---Big Gay Al (South Park)
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