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Super Bitch is at it again :3 - Robot Skeleton Army Minion #1983
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Sun, Apr. 5th, 2009 04:05 pm
Super Bitch is at it again :3

You would think I was in a bad mood based on the thoughts running through my mind the last few weeks. I've been mostly negative in my thoughts lately with very little positive thoughts floating around. I'm not really in a bad mood at the moment but I figured I'd rant about a few of the negative thoughts. Maybe it'll help clear up the clutter in my head.

1. Birthright Israel
I haven't heard from them yet and I signed up in February. I don't remember if I signed up for June or July but I probably chose June. I can't check because there's no way to find out on their site. I've emailed them a bunch of times asking what month I signed up for and if I signed up for July can I change it to June. I haven't heard from them. Well, not really true. They sent out a mass email saying that the June people were alerted and July people will know "in a few weeks and don't email us." Screw that, I emailed them anyway. I, with much prodding from my mom, wrote them a strongly worded letter. I told them that they need to change their site to let people know what month they signed up for if they forget. I told them that it wasn't fair for them to send out mass emails on a Friday when they know they won't be in until the following Monday. Every email they send goes out on a Friday! What if people need to contact you? They can't because you won't be in the office! I also told them that I have a "prior engagement" in England at the beginning of July and that I really need to finalize my plans. Them not replying to any of my letters is making everything more difficult then it needs to be. At this point I don't even care if I go to Israel, I really don't. It's not like that's in my Top 20 Places To Go. It's in my Top 50 for the history of it.
Also, I'm frustrated with Birthright because of the phone interview I had. They asked me what sort of "relationship with god" I had. Uh, is that their business? Birthright Israel states that it's for all Jews, no matter how spiritual or religious it is. If you're Jewish, you're qualified. I don't have a relationship with god. I don't even believe in a god! I didn't come right out and say that though. Even though they say everybody is qualified I don't want them taking a negative look at me based on a stupid question. I said "my relationship with god is my own business, I really don't feel comfortable answering this question." They went on to the next one...

2. Religion in general
Yah, I've been very bitter towards religion lately. Maybe it's because I have to clean for Passover. When I'm on my own I'm not doing anything for these holidays but until then it's just easier to help out then suffer the wrath of my stressed out mother. I don't care that people have faith or believe in a higher force, I honestly don't. What I don't appreciate is it being shoved down my throat or being called a bad person.
An example, almost every Friday we go to somebody's house for dinner. They light the Shabbas candles and I used to light them. I stopped lighting them because I felt awful doing it. I would light them and cover my eyes and just stand there. You're supposed to say a prayer and I never did. Eventually I felt like a hypocrite so I stopped lighting them at home. When I was handed a candle I shrugged it off. "You aren't lighting today?"
"I don't think I'll be lighting anymore." "Why?" "I feel like a hypocrite, I'm doing something I don't believe in." "You're Jewish, you need to light them." "I really don't feel comfortable doing it." "Well I'll light one extra for you." Uh...why? Whatever. I also got into a discussion and mentioned that I'm worried about how bitter over religion I'm getting. and how against it I feel I am. "You can't be really against it, you believe in God!" "Um, I don't actually." "...that's too bad, you don't know what you're missing." Somebody down the table overheard and said loudly "You don't believe in God!? How can you call yourself a Jew and not believe in God! Vlad, how can you invite an atheist here!?" (she spat the word like it was poison). I don't appreciate being treated as a second class citizen because I don't believe in a god.

3. Children
It's not children that I'm mad at...this time, haha. No, it's people who expect me to pop out a kid. So many people have told me to get married so I can have children. I mention that I'm not sure if I even want kids and if I do, I want a few years with the husband before being burdened by children. With kids we can't travel like I want to, I won't have my husband all to myself. I want a few years of just him and me before I pop out or adopt kids. I don't know if I'll even have any though, but that's my choice. People have told me that I need to breed to increase the Jewish population or that it's "my duty" as a woman. Er, what? I don't think the world needs more people and I'm only on this planet to breed because I'm a woman? Wooow. I also resent having people find it bizarre that I'm uncomfortable around most children. I'm a woman, I should have that maternal side! Nope, sorry. I don't think all babies are cute and I'm not a terrible person for not going "AWWW, BABIEZ!!!"

5. My brother
He's an ass...as most of you know. He's pissed at my mom. Well fine, be pissed. Frankly, I'm annoyed at her over her actions. Don't take that out on me though and don't be childish. Mom doesn't go to the family things Adam puts on because he always does it on a Saturday. Mom isn't religious anymore but she doesn't feel comfortable doing things on Saturday because that's the Jewish Sabbath. He knows this and he should respect it. She'll usually come by later that night but then he gets on her case and says she's "depressing to be around." He's told her to "get over" Dad's death and he berated her for being "depressing" a hour before we put Mystery down. Mom has been pretty childish but show some damn respect, she's our mother! He won't be coming to the Seder because "you didn't come to our second baby shower" (on a Saturday). Way to be petty Adam. He treats me like I'm a child and always frets if I vacation alone. He thinks I can't do that. He always go "so when are you going to lose the lard?" Way to be supportive and he insists on shoving my niece in my arms. I really don't appreciate that. I'm not comfortable around babies...girls especially! I know, it's weird that little girls freak me out but they do. He knows that but insists on me holding her. I do and I'm stiff as a board the entire time. I get along with Andrew but I'm not crazy for him. I love him, I'm his aunt...but I'm not that into kids and my brother doesn't respect it. He's gone as far as calling me a bad aunt because I'm not as involved as Elena's sister. I kiss Andrew on the cheek, I give them presents, I smile at Andrew if he looks at me. I plan on getting Andrew the Potter books when he's older and I plan on taking him to the zoo. I want him to grow up with a respect of animals and reading that neither of his parents have. I think I'm a good aunt, I'm not very demonstrative but I do love him and I think he'll know that when he gets older.

7. My weight and shallow guys
Men seem to think that after talking to me for ten minutes online it gives them the right to ask my cup size. Uh, no it doesn't. Or, when seeing a full body photo of myself, say "So, are you going to do anything about that?" (my fat). Why yes I am but I'm not going to lose weight for you. I want to lose weight for myself. For my health and my sense of self worth. In my head I know that I shouldn't feel bad about myself based on my looks but my heart aches over being judged based on my size. People look at me and automatically assume that I'm a slob and that I don't care about myself. I'm trying, that's all I can do isn't it? Losing weight, especially as much weight as I carry, isn't something that will happen overnight. I know it will take at least 3 years to get down to my goal size. I'm trying to eat better, I still eat crap but a lot less of it and a lot more of healthy things. I also go to the gym. It depresses me that all those guys I meet online, who are very nice and think I'm "cute and intelligent" don't even bother with me once they meet me. They see how big I am and immediately get turned off. It's not like I keep it a secret, I mention I'm a big girl and I do have a full body shot in my profiles. It's also depressing that one guy who knows how big I am (I took a more recent full body shot) and still thinks I'm cute lives all the way in Oregon. I will lose weight for myself not for you

8. Insane Twilight Fans
I am not talking about people who just like Twilight. That's your business and you can enjoy any book or movie you want. I'm talking about the Twilight people who actually get in my face for not liking the books\movies. I was at a dinner at somebody's house and they had a 13 year old guest. The guest saw I was young and asked me if I liked Twilight. "No, I tried reading them but I really don't like them." "HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THEM!? ARE YOU STUPID? TWILIGHT IS THE BEST BOOK EVAH!!!1!1" That's tame compared to what I've been called on the internet. I got into a debate on a board, it was an intelligent conversation about why Twilight and Harry Potter shouldn't be categorized together. There were Twi fans there as well as Potter fans and people there who don't like either book but are intelligent enough to talk about the books without bashing them. Then some Twi fans got word that somebody dared say that Twilight was a bad book. They stormed the board and called us, amongst other things, "fucking morons", "faggots", and...get this "racist"! I don't like Twilight. I don't say that blindly, I gave the book a shot. I read the first book for about 150 pages and I couldn't continue. I.Don't.Like.Twilight.
That doesn't make me a bad person. I still love Potter as much as I did a few years ago but I know not everybody does. I love South Park but I know that many people hate it. I don't go around calling these people horrible names. It's a book! Get over yourself!
Again, I'm not talking about you sane Twilight fans ;)
Oh...and god help me if I think Robert P. is 1. ugly and 2. untalented. Sorry, I thought he was kind of cute as Cedric but he didn't look like a crackhead as Cedric, he was just a pretty boy. I think Robert P. looks stoned all the time and I don't think he's all that talented. There's worse actors out there but the way some girls talk you'd think he was Paul Newman reincarnated! Wow, if I get as crazy for Dan as these girls put me out of my misery :P

I hope I didn't offend anyone but honestly, this is my journal. I have a right to say whatever I want here. I tried to word my rants so that I wasn't overly offensive. I re-wrote the religion rant about 5 times because I know some of you have a relationship with a god. I respect that, I do. Just please respect my right to not have one.

Because this was such a negative post I feel I should put a few positive things in here!

Happy birthday mommy! She's 62 today! I'm taking her to The Stinking Rose tomorrow, yum! I requested my favorite radio station to play a song mom likes (Bittersweet Symphony, awesome song!) and they did! YAY!

I only have $1000 more until my UK trip is paid off. Well, the tour. I still need to buy plane tickets and those extra tours...:P

I've been re-reading my James Rollins books, I <3 his work.

Somebody that almost plowed into me got caught by a cop. He ran the end of his yellow while I started making my left turn. I was already in the intersection, I had to go. He was far from even the crosswalk and ran the light. Almost hit me but didn't see the cop car, bwahahaha.

I spent a nice day at Venice Beach today. I walked along the market area and bought a few things. It's such a gorgeous day :)

I actually feel pretty in this photo :P

I actually do feel better after all that bitching :)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Current Mood: calm calm
Current Music: Kings of Leon on the radio


Sun, Apr. 5th, 2009 11:26 pm (UTC)

How can you call yourself a Jew and not believe in God!

Isn't being Jewish sort of like a heritage? Another of my friends is Jewish but doesn't believe in God..when she mentions she is it's like she's talking about a heritage or something (sorry if I sound ignorant!)

Sorry you're having to deal with mean people and negativity *hugs*

Agent 27
Sun, Apr. 5th, 2009 11:40 pm (UTC)

No, you aren't being ignorant. TO some Judaism is only about the religion. To me, it's about heritage. I share a common history with other people, it's not religion to me.

Thanks, stupid people suck :)

ReplyThread Parent
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 12:01 am (UTC)

Re: the Twilight fans, I've seen that kind of rabid craziness on both sides, it's just that Twilight seems to target a way, way, younger fanbase... so logic goes out the window.

I love Twilight, but in all seriousness, RPattz killed my love of the series. I can't stand him as Edward. XD

Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 06:23 am (UTC)

I agree on all accounts. RPattz will never be my Edward. And I stopped frequenting Twilight message boards (mainly the popular ones), etc. when the huge influx of 12 and 13 year olds started joining by the thousands right before/after the movie.

ReplyThread Parent
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 12:38 am (UTC)

Man, what IS with this Twilight thing everyone is so into? I have heard some stuff about it and based on the demographic it seems like something I should be into but when I read that they are vampire romance novels that totally turns me off. Sorry, but I mostly totally hate vampires in fiction and I dislike books that are specifically about romance.

Sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment, how can someone be so mean about you being an atheist? I don't understand how people can be like that about their religion, one of the common elements of all religions (at least that's the way it seems to me) is tolerance and love for other people!

Agent 27
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 04:00 am (UTC)

one of the common elements of all religions (at least that's the way it seems to me) is tolerance and love for other people!
That's exactly why I don't think religion is 100% terrible. It's a shame other people, who claim to follow their religion correctly, are full of hate for other people.

ReplyThread Parent
Sawblade Sestina
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 01:42 am (UTC)

I love your rants.

Re: religion and kids, everyone should mind their own damn business about your choices.

Re: shallow guys, fuck 'em. Regardless of how much weight you want to lose, you deserve somebody who accepts you the way you are right now, who will love and support you either way. Such a person shouldn't be that hard to find, in theory. I get hit on way more than I'd like to (by both women and men) and I'm probably the same size as you... I can start packing these people up and sending them your way? Please, I don't want them!

Re: Twilight... Don't even apologize for not liking it. It's bad writing, plain and simple. =P

You look gorgeous in that pic.

Okay, I think I'm done. ^_^

Agent 27
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 01:55 am (UTC)

Your icon is bringing my defense against getting rats again even lower. I'm so close to caving and adopting a pair of older rats.

Haha, I'm glad somebody enjoys them! I figured I sounded like a whiny bitch but I'm glad somebody doesn't think so :B

I met a guy that thought I was gorgeous the way I was. I was so excited over the prospect of a guy that likes how I look. I mentioned I wanted to get more healthy and lose weight, he immediately said adios. Seems he likes girls fat and wouldn't "tolerate" me if I got to a healthy size.
Sure, send them my way. Haha. Maybe it's my location, LA as a general rule is notoriously shallow. Sure there's exceptions but...yeah, it's LA.

Lmao, did I apologize for not liking it? I tried to make a point to not. It is bad writing and to me the idea of Bella thinking it sexy that Edward watches her sleep at night is downright scary, stalker much?

Aww, thank you ^.^

ReplyThread Parent
Sawblade Sestina
Wed, Apr. 8th, 2009 12:44 am (UTC)

It seems like I'm making a lot of people want to get rats lately. Sorry! I'm using a different icon so you'll want to adopt a pair of older lesbians instead. ;P

Wanting a woman BECAUSE she is fat is just as offensive as not wanting her for that reason. People need to be able to appreciate bodily diversity. I have been attracted to women who are size 4 and 14 and 24, with all different proportions. I have certain preferences (like dark hair and eyes, and strong noses) but even those aren't completely set in stone. People need to learn to appreciate the person, and the packaging, which may very well vary over time.

I've heard that LA (and California in general) is a different world and that even a size 12 is considered huge there. But a lot of it is the circles you run with too. Look for geeky, artsy, intellectual people... They tend to be the most open-minded, and just the best in general. =P

Twilight is giving millions of young girls the WRONG idea about what's okay in a relationship. Eww.

ReplyThread Parent
Agent 27
Wed, Apr. 8th, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)

Haha, older lesbians are just as good!

I agree. If a guy likes my looks and then turns around and says he won't support me if I want to get healthy..that's terrible!

Size 12 is borderline plus size here. It's just awful, I've actually been in stores where 24-34 sizes are labeled the "fat girl" section (the sign actually says 'fat girl'). Ugh! Even if I lost all my weight and got to a nice curvy size I'd be considered fat here, it's awful. I definitely look for geeky and intellectual people, they tend to look beyond boobs and hair and see the personality.

ReplyThread Parent
Sawblade Sestina
Wed, Apr. 8th, 2009 11:55 pm (UTC)

I'd be a little weirded out by a "fat girl" section. Way to alienate your customer base. Some people are into reclaiming the word "fat" as a simple description of a physical trait and not as a derogatory adjective... But that might not be what these stores have in mind.

Have you ever seen the blog Shapely Prose?

ReplyThread Parent
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 03:06 am (UTC)

I'm sorry you are upset lately!

I completely agree with you about religion. It's interesting how defensive people can get about it. My family is pretty agnostic (except my sister), but if I talk about there being no god, my parents are very uncomfortable. My mom even said something about 'other' atheists (not me) being immoral or something. It does seem like Birthright may have had some religious bias toward you. That phone conversation seems suspect.

I also have no idea why people think everyone should have kids. I think that's a silly way of thinking.

Ugh that sucks about shallow guys. You never know when you'll find a good one though. My friend Lynn dated for over a year and went on several dates before she found her guy.

That is a very nice pic of you. :)

Agent 27
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 04:07 am (UTC)

Atheists are immoral? That's a bizarre mindset. Just believe we don't believe a guy talked to a god on a mountain and brought down ten commandments doesn't make those commandments any more meaningful..well at least some of them. Most of those "laws" are just common sense, at least for our society.
They asked me a few more questions including why I wanted to go to Israel. They were heavily hinting that they wanted a more religious answer. I lied through my teeth and said that I thought Israel might help me get in touch with my spiritual side. I'm plenty spiritual but Mother Nature brings that side out of me, I'm just interested in Israel because I'm into history and anthropology and Israel is a great country for both subjects.

I hope to meet somebody :)

Thank you!

ReplyThread Parent
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 06:21 am (UTC)

I promise to make a longer comment about the ridiculousness people have been treating you with but we're leaving for our long trip home in a few hours.

I did want to comment and say how beautiful I, and Bob, think you look in that photo!

Agent 27
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 06:28 am (UTC)

Haha, I'll be looking forward to that comment :3

Thank you! It makes me feel extra good when somebody of the opposite sex (even taken) thinks I look good.

ReplyThread Parent
Mon, Apr. 6th, 2009 03:28 pm (UTC)

I think you're very pretty! And I agree, losing weight is for your sake and not the sake of pleasing others!

Also agree with you on the twilight fans D:

Wed, Apr. 15th, 2009 05:58 am (UTC)

Ok, a week or so late but I'm back to commenting status.

On the order of religion. Seriously, it's people like that that had turned me off to religion for a number of years. I was atheist for a long time and then I was interested in religion during my senior year at that religious school I went to but I never really considered myself religious until a few years ago and I blame that on the people like those that you talk about. I understand that they think they HAVE to do that because the Bible or whatever religious governing doctrine says to but ultimately, I don't think it's right whether it's written down or not. In my opinion, if there is a God (which I do believe), then I think that he wants people to come to him on their own, not by people pushing it on them constantly. I could care less what my friends or family do religious-wise, and I think that's how it should be. It is a personal thing on a personal level and should not need explaining (ie: the Birthright thing, I had to do something similar when I transferred to that private school).

On the Twilight/HP things. Eh, as a member of both fandoms (admittedly, I'm more obsessed with Twilight) I've seen both sides of that, there have been times that HP fans have come over and done the same things as well as Twilight fans have retaliated with things like you mentioned. It's why I do not frequent message boards, communities, etc. anymore. All I do is read the recent news on the Twilight Lexicon or SMeyers website and go along on my merry way. I can't take how people act. Especially after the huge influx of ten year olds who joined up on the bandwagon after "OMG RPATTZ" and the movie came out. I thought he was cute as Cedric. As Edward, hell fucking no. He's hideous as hell, has a horrendous personality and street reputation and I'm so sick of how delusional the fans are. And the things they say about Kristen Stewart, the girl who plays Bella. Ugh. And that's not even touching on my bitching about how they act about the books. NOT EVERYTHING BY SMEYER IS GOSPEL. Just like I refuse to admit the Deathly Hallows exists, I refuse to admit Breaking Dawn exists.

I don't think a man has a right to question or say anything about your weight. The fact that one would ask what you mentioned in this post makes me sad for the state of people these days. If they don't like what they see they don't have to say anything, they can move along. Or, I don't know, how about get the fuck over it and accept you for WHO you are. It makes me sick, and it's not just men either, I know girls who make comments like that too. It's no wonder we have so many twelve year olds who are anorexic or suicidal because they are overweight. Bob has always told me "Don't get your bypass for me, do it for yourself, I don't care if you get it done or not, I love you regardless". I wish there were more understanding people like him in the world.