Agent 27 (witherwings7) wrote,
Agent 27
witherwings7

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It's been 5 years

It's been five years (Tuesday) since my dad passed away and I'm conflicted about it. Sometimes it feels like 10 years and other times it feels like 1 year has gone by. I don't really remember how my dad sounded, though I have an echo of how he sounded when he screamed (in pain...possibly from a paper cut, my dad had no tolerance for pain).
My father was a brilliant man and those who met him only once remember him. A breeder friend of mine met him once but she told me later on how "he's such a short little guy and very quiet but there was just something about him, a strong presence". Yeah, that was my dad. He was short and actually got a bit shorter because of his Lupus. He was also fairly quiet but he was strong, he was a city attorney and he dominated the courtrooms when he needed to. He worked under such political names as James Hann (previous mayor), Rocky Delgadio, and Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (boo, lol). He's also had friendships with other key political players like State Representative Henry Waxman and Senator Barbara Boxer.

Dad was passionate about ethics and wrote many of Los Angeles' ethics laws. My father's most important things were family, religion, and politics and he was passionate about all three. Family came first, he was always so busy but never busy enough to not help his children with their homework. I would give my father my English assignments and basically any homework where I had to write a paper and he would give it back nearly covered in red ink. My dad was extremely anal with papers and always went over papers at least twice. People in his office, other city attorneys, would comes to him to look over their work and they would get the red ink back. It sometimes cheesed them off but their work was better because of it and they did appreciate it. I too got annoyed when I had to basically rewrite a whole paper but I am thankful to my father for being so picky about my writing. I got good grades and even today, I like to double and triple check my work. Even emails and my Livejournal posts get this treatments! I might not be perfect in grammar and sentence structure but I have my father to thank for trying my best, even in my journal posts. My father was also the reason for my love of classical and opera music. My mother likes classical and to a point, opera, but my father loved it. His favorite opera performer was Luciano Pavarotti and I got my love for this amazing artist through my father. My father loved Mozart and Beethoven so I grew up appreciating their work, which then branched out to other classical style and classical era artists; Bach, Strauss, and Wagner. My father also enjoyed musicals and I've loved Phantom of the Opera for as long as I can remember because of my father. Let me tell you, he would be rolling in his grave if he saw how the movie turned out!
Star Wars; another huge love for my father. I was always regretful that my father never got to see the "last" (third) Star Wars movie, I'm sure he would have liked it. Same with Potter, he liked the Potter books and movies and he only got to see the first two. He'd probably be amused by my crush on Dan Radcliffe :)
Dad also liked to go on vacation with his family. Vacations are the only place he really got to relax since he was such a workaholic. Every year we would take a small vacation and a larger vacation. The smaller vacation was always to a beautiful town in Central California; Cambria. I'm sad to see it get more commercial over the years but I suppose that's inevitable. I haven't been there in a few years and plan on going back. My father and I would go down to Moonstone Beach daily and look for rocks, shells, and moonstones. I have quite a collection :)

My dad was very religious, he was an Orthodox Jew. He was different though, he was a liberal Orthodox, which is pretty uncommon! My father was pro-choice, very Democratic, and supported gay marriage. He just proves that you can be extremely religious but also a liberal. I'm not religious at all but I am spiritual and though my dad might not like that I don't think I believe in God, he would support my decision though and I'm sure he'd be happy knowing I did have a spiritual side. Dad was really into politics, this is where I got my interest in it from. Every Friday night the family (and whoever came over for dinner) would get into political debates, they sometimes got heated! My dad liked to hear my thoughts on politics and he took my views seriously even if he didn't agree with me 100% of the time!

My dad was an amazing man, I regret not letting him know that as often as I should have. He isn't here to help me, he would have helped me in any way he can. He missed out on my events he would have enjoyed, such as the birth of his Grandson, named after him. Or his nephew's Bar Mitzvah, who was honored by my cousin by a beautiful speech that I still remember. Heck, me finally driving would have been important to him!

I miss my father every day, and the pain doesn't really lesson, I just learn to ignore it. I want my father back and I know I'll never get him back.




Getting down and getting funky at my brother's Bar Mitzvah


I think I'm 9 or something. I don't know


At my brother's Bar Mitzvah, I'm five.


Dad was so proud of me :)
Tags: dad, family, memories
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