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*sigh* - Robot Skeleton Army Minion #1983
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Sun, Dec. 2nd, 2007 05:18 pm

Mom accuses me of eating a whole bag of mini donuts, I had two (they're so small that two either count as one regular donut or less then a regular donut). I said I had two, she calls me a liar. I again say I had too and she calls me a "fat liar". Yeah I'm fat, I get depressed: I eat and mom has been making me feel so bad lately so I"ve been eating more.
Anyway I go in there and pour them all on a plate and count them. Then I point to the number on the box and, gee whiz, I had two! Her: "I guess you did" and walks away. No "I'm sorry I called you a liar Sara."..or "I'm sorry I called you a 'fat liar' Sara." Nothing
Shouldn't be surprised, she's been doing this all my life.
: She accused me of buying another bag and putting two extra in. How low...

I gained 10 pounds since October, making me gain back 10 of the 20 that I lost since my diet. Why? I've been breaking my diet, eating my comfort foods lately and then mom yells at me when I have to take my jeans out that I put away (the larger jeans). Yeah I need them because I'm wider! You calling me all sorts of names doesn't help me!

I guess it isn't her fault I'm eating more. Depression causes me to eat more and she's making me depressed but I need more self control.

Thus ends my self pity post.

I'll post about the rest of my vacation later or tomorrow, I just really don't feel like it right now.

So this isn't all pathetic here's some stuff I'm looking forward to:
Seeing Monsie in Arizona
Getting my lovely Kyle doll from Ebay (yay Kyle)
Seeing Ben (and Dayna) during Spring Break
Getting my Canon Rebel back from Canon all nice and fixed
Gettinga new Canon Rebel XTI after the holidays
Trying out my new Canon lens

Tags: , , ,
Current Location: Depression Village. Population: me :(
Current Mood: depressed depressed
Current Music: Veruca Salt - One Last Time


Mon, Dec. 3rd, 2007 03:39 am (UTC)

That's not self-pity! NO ONE should deal with that kind of abuse. You mom is saying those mean things because she's insecure about herself. She really needs to get some help for that, it's no way to treat a human being, much less your own daughter.


Agent 27
Mon, Dec. 3rd, 2007 03:47 am (UTC)

I just don't really like posting about my issues with my mom since lately it feels like that's all I post. That or random bits of fangirl fluff...

She's worse around my Dad's birthday, their anniversary, or Dad's death but I'm the only one around so she takes her depression out on me :\


ReplyThread Parent
BagelDelight - Cause You Like It Crusty & Chewy
Mon, Dec. 3rd, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)


I don't usually say anything about parents or toxic relatives, but your mother reminds me of mine...although mine knows better than to ever call me another name because I have something she wants...her grandson. I know how low that sounds, but hey...I would never deprive him of his grandparents but kid is smart enough to know if I'm angry at her and then he gets pissed at whoever makes me upset.

But I digress....

I truly, truly hope that you can find a way (a job, a grant, whatever) to get away from your mom, because she will not stop taking things out on you as long as she has whatever issues she has. She is obviously immature, disturbed and terribly unhappy in her own life, and you are there. An easy target.

Somehow, coming from parents, things that we would kill someone else for saying to us, we take. We take it because they are supposed to love us and care about us, so they must be right, right?

No. No fucking way.

I'm thinking of you and you aren't alone, no matter how much it feels that way. *hugs you tight*

Agent 27
Mon, Dec. 3rd, 2007 04:04 am (UTC)

Thank you.

I live in a very image focused city so when I'm as big as I am, finding a job is extra hard. I've applied at plus sized stores but because I don't have retail experience they don't hire me. How can I get retail experience if I don't get hired? Bleh.

I hope to be out of here by this time next year. I've been saying that for three years now but with the money my grandmother left me, it might actually be possible. I'm not going to take it all to move out though, I don't want that money to leave so I will be getting a job first. Grandma's money is just to get out but to stay independent I need the job...
I wonder if that made any sense, my brain is frazzled right now so I might have just typed babbling nonsense...

Anyway, thanks.

ReplyThread Parent
Officer Kelli
Wed, Dec. 5th, 2007 03:51 am (UTC)

Your mom really needs to lay off...it's a vicious cycle, and she needs help for her problems...
I really hope you can get out of there and live away from your mom...she is messed up and ruining your life. Sorry if I sound evil or something, but I hate seeing you in pain...:(
It's not just you who needs self control, she does too, self control to keep her stupid mouth shut...
Sorry I have no respect for people who treat their kids that way...

Captain of the SS Panvi
Wed, Dec. 5th, 2007 10:11 am (UTC)

Well first off Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Your mom is completely in the wrong. She had no right to act like that. :(